March 31, 2009

Testicle Festival:

OAKDALE, Calif. (AP) — The fund raising idea may seem a little nuts, but Oakdale's annual Testicle Festival is always a big hit. On Monday, volunteers with the town's Rotary Club plan to fry up 400 pounds of the private parts of bulls and serve them to diners who pay $50 apiece for the sit-down meal.

The event, whose proceeds also benefit the Oakland Cowboy Museum, has drawn an average of 450 people and last year raised $28,000.

It's common practice on cattle ranches for young male bovines to be castrated into steers, which after the initial loss, eventually makes them more docile and easier to handle. Fans of the delicacy, also referred to as "mountain oysters," come from around the state.

According to Rotarians, everyone who buys a ticket is guaranteed to "have a ball."

March 27, 2009

Man Jailed For Vacuum Sex: Wow. That Must Suck.

SAGINAW, Mich. - A man police caught performing a sex act with a car wash vacuum has been sentenced to 90 days in prison.

Jason Leroy Savage must also submit to drug testing.

The 29-year-old from Michigan, was sentenced Wednesday at Saginaw County Circuit Court. Savage pleaded no contest to indecent exposure last month.

Police say Savage was arrested after a resident called officers early on Oct. 16 to report suspicious activity at a car wash in Thomas Township, about 90 miles northwest of Detroit.

Savage's attorney, Philip Sturtz, didn't immediately return a message seeking comment.

March 25, 2009

Woman's Mummified Body Found Fused To Bed:

Woman Cashed Dead Mother's Social Security Checks

SEBASTIAN, Fla. -- Police arrested a Sebastian, Fla., woman after discovering the mummified remains of her 96-year-old mother inside her home.

Authorities charged Penelope Jordan, 61, with fraud and grand theft, West Palm Beach television station WPBF reported.

Sebastian police received a search warrant to enter the home on Wimbrow Drive shortly before 5 p.m. Monday.

Code enforcement officers removed eight cats from the home during the weekend and notified police about possible human remains inside.

"There's excessive debris in the residence and it's very difficult to make your way around inside this house," Officer Steve Marcinik said. "While moving around in there, they observed something that was somewhat suspicious and upon that they notified law enforcement."

Neighbors had also been complaining of a foul smell coming from the home.

Michael Pearce said he's complained to the city about feral cats running loose on the property and a foul smell "for at least a decade, if not 12 years" since he has lived there.

Police said Timmie Jordan, 96, had been dead for years. Her mummified body was found in her bed.

Investigators said she still had on her nightgown and her skin had fused to the mattress.

Police said Penelope Jordan, her live-in daughter, admitted to cashing her mother's Social Security checks for at least six years.

"It tears me up," neighbor Theda Furtado said. "The lady next door can't stop crying because she smelled the smell all along, but then someone else told her it was just a cat."

Investigators called the home 'a house of filth,' filled wall to wall with debris.

"It's just bad, and there's (an) open sewer in the back yard," Louise Martin said.

Neighbors said they hadn't seen or heard from Jordan's mother in years.

"Not in a million years would I (have) thought that lady would (be) like that. But she was real standoffish."

Pearce said he wondered why it took so long for authorities to discover that something was wrong.

"It's a little surreal," Pearce said.

A medical examiner determined Tuesday that Timmie Jordan died of natural causes, but the body has not been positively identified.

March 24, 2009

Ye gads, this guy is only 30?!?

Ian Price

Ian Price leaves Birmingham Crown Court and stands accused of trying to murder his wife

A cheating husband plotted to murder his wife by using a timeswitch to burn their house down - while he was spending the night with his mistress, a court heard.

Kitchen planner Ian Price, 30, plugged a heat gun normally used to strip wallpaper into a timer on an electrical socket and set it to come on in the middle of the night while his wife Joanne slept, it was claimed.

The improvised incendiary device worked as planned, sparking a blaze in the spare room of the Prices' marital home, the jury heard.

Fortunately, Mrs Price woke in time to call the fire brigade and escaped unscathed - wrecking her husband's alleged plan to murder her, and pay off his debts with £190,000 in life insurance and pension payouts.

Prosecutor Gordon Aspden told Birmingham Crown Court that Mr Price's 'premeditated and well-planned' attempt to kill his wife in November 2007 would have 'freed him from the double life he had been living for several months' if successful.

Mr Aspden said: 'In order to keep himself out of harm's way, Mr Price pretended he had to go out on business that night so he would not be at home.

'In truth, ladies and gentlemen, he spent the night with a lady with whom he had secretly been having an affair with for some time.

'The prosecution case is that this was a premeditated and well-planned attempt to kill an entirely innocent woman for entirely selfish reasons.

'Mr Price staged the whole thing to make it look like an accident.'

Mr Aspden said Mr Price had plugged the heat gun into the timeswitch behind a pile of wicker furniture and Christmas decorations, that hid them for view - and 'for good measure'  left a blow torch and gas cylinder nearby to help fuel the blaze.

Heat guns can produce temperatures of up to 1,200 degree farenheit, and should only be used with great care.

Mrs Price told the court how firemen showed her the device, which was set to midnight, after she escaped the fire.

She said: 'I was shocked and I just remember thinking, "I need to get in touch with Ian to find out what's gone on".'

He did not respond to calls or texts until the following morning.

The court was also told that Mrs Price was hoping to have a baby - and that her husband had previously tried to poison her by replacing the contents of her medicinal iron capsules with a nicotine mixture.

Nicotine can be fatal in even small doses.

Price allegedly set up an elaborate fire starting device, which he hoped would kill Joanne Price, in the home they shared, above

Mrs Price, who worked as a nurse at Lincoln County Hospital, discovered the tub of tablets and questioned him, but he told her that he had planned to take them himself.

Mr Aspden told the court that Mr Price, who worked as a kitchen planner for MFI, researched poisoning methods on the internet.

An investigation of his laptop found searches using the phrases 'untraceable poison', 'how to poison a person', and 'nicotine poison deaths' dating back to 2006, the court heard.

And in August 2006, the jury was told, Mr Price began experimenting with poisons.

Mr Aspden said: 'Not only was Mr Price making home-made poisons, but he began to experiment with these poisons on his wife.'

Mrs Price noted that his behaviour was 'odd', and began to notice a strange taste in her food and drink, the court heard.

'Eventually she confronted her husband about it, and he denied putting anything in her food,' Mr Aspden said.

A month after the confrontation, it was claimed, Mrs Price found in the kitchen a tub of 'thick brown treacle substance', which turned out to be a mixture of nicotine and caffeine.

The jury was told that Mr Price's computer research into poisons resumed in September 2007 - two months before the fire.

During a police search of the couple's property, nicotine residue was found on a bowl, a bread board and a milk pan in the kitchen.

The court was told that Price began his affair with another woman in March 2007.

Price, who lived with his wife in Willoughton, near Gainsborough, Lincolnshire, denies attempted murder.

The case continues.

March 21, 2009

Man In "I [Heart] My Marriage" T-shirt Arrested For Domestic Battery:

Tampa, Florida - An Apollo Beach man wearing an "I ♥ My Marriage" t-shirt was arrested Monday night, charged with choking his wife during an argument.

Hillsborough deputies booked 32-year-old Bradley Gellert into jail on charges of a felony domestic battery by strangulation. According to the arrest report, Gellert works for Ameriprise, a financial consulting company.

The arrest report says that the couple were arguing over drugs, and during the fight at their home, Gellert screamed in his wife's face, threw things, grabbed her neck and strangled her, and knocked her to the ground.

Gellert followed the victim as fled the home and reported the incident in person at the closest sheriff's office.

March 20, 2009

Titties 'n Beer:

It is the ultimate Aussie beer-lover’s fantasy: a bottle of brew with a woman on the label whose bikini disappears as fast as the drinker can consume its contents.

Three friends in Sydney have taken on the Australian beer market with a unique world first marketing concept for their new beer.

The label is Skinny Blonde, a low-carb beer that is thriving on the current popularity of Australia’s new crop of ‘healthy’ beers.

But there is another reason it is popular: the Skinny Blonde bottle features a 1950s-style pin-up called Daisy whose red bikini disappears as the beer level drops and the bottle warms up, thanks to the modern ink technology used on the labels.

The savvy, apparently world-first, marketing ploy was born three years ago when 34-year-old Hamish Rosser and his mates – actor Richie Harkham, 29, and artist Jarrod Taylor, 33 – decided to act on a “drunken idea that actually worked”.

“We had the idea of a pin-up girl from the get go, we thought everyone uses women in their advertising campaigns so why not put it on a bottle?” Mr Rosser, who is the drummer in the Australian band The Vines, told The Times.

“So we had this idea of the disappearing bikini and researched into disappearing ink. Then we did a few trial runs and when we realized it worked we were stoked, we were over the moon.”

Crystal Lee, a barmaid at Bondi’s Beach Road Hotel, the first pub in Australia to serve Skinny Blonde, said that it was one of their most popular low-carb beers - especially when sold in a bottle.

“It’s a really popular beer, more in the bottle than on tap,” she said, before adding: “But that’s to do with the fact that the chick’s bikinis come off when people drink it.”

Ms Lee said that the beer, which has an alcohol content of 5.2%, was equally as popular among men and women – men for the bikini factor and women for the taste and that it was a ‘healthy’ beer.

The trio, who lived within streets of each other in Bondi, formed the company Brother’s Ink and began experimental home brewing in Mr Taylor’s laundry with the aim of producing a Japanese-style dry “session beer” three years ago.

“We wanted to make a beer that you can have several of rather than ales which you have one or two then you move on,” Mr Rosser, who has a degree in chemical engineering, said.

A few test runs later they were ready to serve up the first batch of Skinny Blonde and approached the Beach Road Hotel – their local and a popular drinking spot for visiting British backpackers – who agreed to help them by trialling their beer on tap.

Brother’s Ink held a party to promote their new brew and it became a hit among locals. Last December they expanded their product and introduced the bottled variety, and in turn introduced Daisy and her disappearing bikini to beer drinkers.

Mr Rosser said that they planned to expand their business around Australia and eventually to New Zealand and Britain.

“We’ll probably license it to a third party to bring it to the UK,” he said.

“But we’re just trying to grow our brand now. At the moment our focus is on sales.”

After a turbulent few years with The Vines, the Australian garage rock band who burst on to the international scene in 2002 before singer Craig Nicholls’ health issues put them on hiatus last year, Mr Rosser said that expanding Skinny Blonde was now his main priority.

“The Vines aren’t doing much right now. We will get ourselves together eventually but the beer is a full-time job at the moment,” he said.

“If it weren’t for this beer project I don’t know what I’d be doing. Anyway at least I’ve finally found a use for my chemical engineering background.”

March 19, 2009

The Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch Closes English Pub:

But the dangerous-looking weapon turned out to be the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch, made famous in the 1975 film Monty Python And The Holy Grail. Police and a fire crew were first on the scene in Shoreditch, East London, when water company workers found a copy of the film prop under a fire hydrant cover. They evacuated a pub and another building in Tabernacle Street, while office staff in another building were stopped from leaving. But when the bomb squad arrived, they quickly established there was no danger and the street was declared safe. In the film, the grenade was used to slaughter a killer rabbit. Python actor Eric Idle had filmgoers in stitches as he said: "Oh Lord. Bless this hand grenade, that with it thou mayest blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy."
Alberto Romanelli, who owns the Windmill pub nearby, said the police action in ordering his pub to be evacuated had been as ridiculous as the film scene. "They evacuated the pub while they were doing X-rays and stuff," he said. "It all lasted about 45 minutes before they decided it was nothing - which I thought was pretty obvious from the start. I lost a good hour's worth of business." Emma Eve, a training center receptionist, said: "It was scary. They wouldn't let us out of the building." Office worker Graham White said: "The situation was nearly as crazy as the film."

March 18, 2009


Cesare Bonizzi is a Capuchin monk who sings in a heavy metal band. who lives in a friary near Milan, Italy. He is also the singer in a heavy metal band.

March 17, 2009

Voodoo Pencil Case For Schoolkids Shaped Like A Body:

A VOODOO pencil case could be pulled from the shelves after child advocates claimed it encouraged bullying.
The controversial canvas Smiggle voodoo pencil case includes a space to put a small photo, but critics say it is simply encouraging children to hex their friends.

On nearby shelves are black and red heart-shaped pins ready to stick into the body-shaped case.

Kids Free 2B Kids director Julie Gale said the voodoo pencil product was typical of companies who produced inappropriate products without thinking about the consequences.

But Smiggle says it will reconsider its Voodoo pencil case after concerns it might encourage children to bully.

Ms Gale had spoken to various childhood experts who were horrified by the product, which they thought could encourage bullying.

“It’s basically a voodoo doll, and it’s potentially a very powerful tool for bullies,” she said.

“I think it’s typical lack of awareness from retailers … just thinking it’s a cute idea not really thinking it through,” she said. “It’s just not appropriate.”

But the organization was prompted to act after being alerted by customers who had seen the product.

In a letter to the company, Ms Gale claims the pencil case “could be seen as a tool for nastiness, vindictiveness and bullying”.

“Given that a large proportion of your customers are primary and early secondary aged girls - selling products like this could be seen as a social/public condoning of such behaviours,” she said.

And she has also raised concern about another product in the Smiggle range encouraging children to 'Hug a Stranger'.

“Whilst it might seem innocuous, it goes against the messages our children are taught for their well being and safety,” she said.

Jason Murray, CEO of the Just Group which owns Smiggle, said this afternoon he had not been aware of any complaints about the $9.95 cloth case until today.

Mr Murray said Smiggle was a positive brand and would never intentionally encourage bad behaviour.

He said the company would contact Kids Free 2B Kids, which raised concerns about the potential bullying factor, before making a decision about the product.

“Obviously we take any concerns seriously,” he said. “It’s a very positive brand. There’s obviously no intent in this.”

March 16, 2009

Pill Lets Obese To Eat Whatever They Want:

A 'fat controller' in the gut could be the key to preventing obesity, diabetes and heart disease, research suggests.

Scientists have pinpointed an enzyme that determines whether the fat we eat is burnt off as energy or stored in the body.

The breakthrough raises the prospect of a pill being developed which targets the enzyme in people, allowing them to eat without worrying about putting on weight.

Research at the University of California focused on MGAT2, an enzyme found in the intestines of mice and humans.

Mice without the protein were able to eat a high-fat diet while remaining slim and healthy.

The fat they absorbed was burnt off as energy, rather than stored, the journal Nature Medicine reports.

The mice in the experiment also seemed better at processing sugar, cutting their risk of diabetes, and had lower levels of 'bad' cholesterol in their blood.

A pill that targets the enzyme in people could provide a new weapon in the battle of the bulge.

The researchers said: 'Our studies identify MGAT2 as a key determinant of energy metabolism in response to dietary fat and suggest that the inhibition of this enzyme may prove to be a useful strategy for treating obesity and other metabolic diseases associated with excessive fat intake.'

With almost a quarter of men and women obese and children faring little better, such a drug is likely to have mass appeal.

Even more appealing is the prospect of a pill that makes the body fit, as well as keeping it slim.

Last year, US scientists unveiled an experimental drug which fools the muscles into thinking they have worked long and hard, boosting fitness as well as burning off fat.

Mice treated with AICAR for four weeks burned more calories and had less fat than untreated mice and when tested on a treadmill, they could run almost 50 per cent longer.

Researcher Professor Ronald Evans, of the Salk Institute in California, said: 'We have exercise in a pill.

'It is tricking the muscle into "believing" it's been exercised daily.

'It proves you can have a pharmacological equivalent to exercise.'

But obesity experts say such pills are years from the market, and most people would benefit from eating less and exercising more.

March 14, 2009

Man Killed By His Own Tattoo:

John Chillingworth, of Bungay, Suffolk, was given the tattoo on his right calf by his girlfriend as a birthday present.

By the time he arrived home at about 3.30pm, he told his girlfriend, 22-year-old Amy Hahs, that the tattoo was stinging, the inquest in Lowestoft heard on Friday.

His leg was swollen and red within two days and a scab formed. Mr. Chillingworth had trouble sleeping because of the pain.

He visited his GP, who cleaned and dressed the wound and gave Mr. Chillingworth painkillers and antihistamines.

Yet 10 days after the tattoo session, Miss Hahs returned home from work to find Mr. Chillingworth lying slumped on the sitting room sofa. He was pronounced dead when paramedics arrived shortly afterwards.

A post mortem examination found that Mr. Chillingworth died due to a blood clot in one of his lungs. It had come from a deep vein thrombosis in his right calf.

Peter Dean, the Suffolk coroner, said it was not clear whether the DVT had been related to the tattoo, or whether it developed due to Mr. Chillingworth being inactive due to the pain.

Mr Dean, who said that the tattooist had followed all necessary hygiene procedures, recorded a narrative verdict of a pulmonary embolism following a tattooing.

Tattoo: The Deadly Killer

March 13, 2009

10 Kids Drink Windshield Wiper Fluid At Daycare:

LITTLE ROCK, Ark. (AP) — Hospital officials say 10 children drank windshield wiper fluid after staffers at an Arkansas daycare center mistook the liquid for Kool-Aid.

A pediatrician at Arkansas Children's Hospital in Little Rock says the children, ages 2 to 6, are OK, but continue to be monitored. The doctor said each child drank about an ounce late Thursday afternoon.

The hospital did not identify the Scott community daycare. State child welfare officials did not immediately return a call for comment Friday.

The fluid contained toxic alcohols. A pediatric toxicologist says those chemicals can cause kidney damage and blindness.

"It tastes like... burning..."

March 12, 2009

FOR SALE|Nagging Wife, Very High Maintenance:

"Very High Maintenance"??? Apparently it's a lot of work to shove those Twinkies down her gullet.

A builder who put his nagging wife up for sale in a trade magazine was shocked when he had several offers for her.

After the latest blast from wife Donna while she was watching Dancing on Ice, Gary Bates, 38, from Gloucestershire placed the unusual advert in Trade-It.

Mr Bates, from Ebley, near Stroud, described his spouse as: “Nagging Wife. No Tax, Not MOT. Very high maintenance - some rust.”

His wife was put in the Free to Collect section of the magazine where he also advertised his fishing tackle.

Despite the less-than-flattering pitch, Mr Bates was inundated with calls from men offering to take her off his hands.

He said: “I didn’t think anyone would ring up but I’ve had at least nine or 10 people calling about her.

"It’s gone mad. There was no-one I knew - just people asking, ’Is she still available?’

“She was nagging me for doing something small, while she was watching some rubbish on TV. So I just thought I’d put an ad in to get rid of her.

“She’s seen the funny side of it now though!”

The self-employed builder said his wife laughed at the anonymous advert before realising she was the one on special offer.

She gave him “a bit of an ear-bashing” after the prank was revealed, he admitted.

March 11, 2009

Extreme Makeover: Pussy Edition:

Via D

Okay, I'm all for a bitch doing what she has to do to get that pussy purring. If you got to go down to Home Depot and flirt with some power tools in hopes one might take you home and drill you down, FINE. But is a nut bust really worth turning your vagina into fucking shredded beef? The ho in this story answered a fuck yes to that question.
The 27-year-old woman of Saint Mary County in Maryland was airlifted to a hospital after a saber saw done fucked up her pussy. The woman and her dick for brains boyfriend decided it would be really fucking sexy to get all America Psycho on her vagina and fuck it with a "sex toy" (I'm assuming a dildo) attached to a saber saw. It wasn't long before the blade on the saw cut through the dildo and straight up turned her sugar walls into some BENJAMIN BUTTON'S SHIT. The dumb bitch went from screaming "Oh baby" to "Oh baby my pussy fell off!!!!"

The bitch was released from the hospital on Monday. She told police that the idiotic sex act was consensual and no crime was committed. Yeah, tell that to her pussy. May it rest in fucking peace. A SAW UP YOUR PUSSY?! I mean, I hope that when they got home she took a power drill to his asshole so he can see how it feels. A SAW UP YOUR PUSSY? I still can't. She will never watch an episode of Home Improvement the same away.

And if you have a vagina, I hope you kept your hand over it the whole time. It didn't need to see this story. If it did, it would have turned inside out and closed its doors forever. It's not the one!

Star Trek Cologne Coming In April:

Genki Wear, a company specializing in science-fiction-inspired jewelry (mostly in the Buffyverse, it seems), will be releasing three new Star Trek colognes to go along with the reboot of the franchise this year: "Tiberius", a scent that is "difficult to define and impossible to refuse"; "Red Shirt", with the brilliant tag line "Because tomorrow may never come"; and a scent for women called "Pon Farr", designed to "drive him wild". (Polearms not included.)

High-Resolution Tetris:

Having too much fun playing Tetris? Why not suck all the enjoyment out of it by playing it in HD?

CLICK TO PLAY High-Rez Tetris

March 08, 2009

Creepy Inflatable Blood-Pool Pillows:


Design is all fun and games … until everyone you know ends up dead in pool of blood. These are frighteningly realistic shots taken with comfy inflatable blood pillows. Up close you can see they are plush and organic but from a distance it looks like the scene of some atrocious mass-murder. One could imagine that even without a sleeper on top a careful array of these on your couches could provide quite a fright for visitors.
“The pillows are inspired by those suspenseful moments when a sleeping loved one is a little too still for a little too long. Using an irreverent combination of comfort & fear the pillows parallel sleep & death. Project goal: taking ownership of morbidly intrusive thoughts through humor & play.” Humor and play indeed - but likely only after a double- or triple-take.

March 07, 2009

Anatomical Armchairs:

Graphic design meets anatomy in a stylish interior design with this chair created by AK-LH, a Paris-based design company that specializes in 'dressing the inanimate objects of our daily lives to liven them up.'

This anatomically upholstered chair is named 'Flow' and is part of AK-LH’s 'Tante Wera' series of 50s style Swedish armchairs (limited edition of 7).

Moreover, AK-LH creates many other textile objects as linen and cushions.

You can have a look at all of that at

March 03, 2009

3/3/09: Celebrate Square Root Day:

Dust off the slide rules and recharge the calculators. Square Root Day is upon us.

The math-buffs’ holiday, which only occurs nine times each century, falls on Tuesday — 3/3/09 (for the mathematically challenged, three is the square root of nine).

“These days are like calendar comets, you wait and wait and wait for them, then they brighten up your day — and poof — they’re gone,” said Ron Gordon, a Redwood City teacher who started a contest meant to get people excited about the event.

The winner gets, of course, $339 for having the biggest Square Root Day event.

Gordon’s daughter even set up a Facebook page — one of a half-dozen or so dedicated to the holiday — and hundreds of people had signed up with plans to celebrate in some way. Celebrations are as varied: Some cut root vegetables into squares, others make food in the shape of a square root symbol.

The last such day was five years ago, Feb. 2, 2004, which coincided with Groundhog Day. The next is seven years away, on April 4, 2016.

March 02, 2009

Crying Skinned Hermaphrodite Rotary-Dial Telephone:

In the market for a crying skinned hermaphrodite rotary-dial telephone? If so, you have until Sunday to place your bid on eBay.

Bacon Potato:

Recipe Via Cafe Chocolada

Bacon potato

Now, this is how I want my potatoes from now on! Do you really need a recipe? All you do is peel whole potatoes, cut them all across, not too thin, and not all the way through, sprinkle with some salt, but not too much, the bacon is salty. Then fill with small bacon slices in between. Bake in a pan with some oil until potatoes are fully cooked, and serve!

In the original recipe, the potatoes are first cooked half way, and I guess this is done to cut the baking time, which I didn’t do, and they took a while to be completely baked, but I didn’t mind waiting.

Bacon potato Also, you can incorporate some cheese too, as well as let you imagination loose as to how you want to season them, among other options you chose. Please your taste buds, and keep them quiet!

March 01, 2009

Pi Day Ice Cube Trays:

Pi Day's coming up March 14 and here's an ice tray to impress your friends and colleagues at your Pi Day party.

Pi Symbol Ice Cube Trays

Pumpkin Pie
Pumpkin Pie